Near? Far? Huh?

Why is it? Why is it when I put my hope high, I ended being the one getting hurt?

Its a false hopes. Kinda sadden me though.

So, for not getting more hurt, I give up.

Its a must. Not because I'm not a confident person.. no..

Then, why? Why when I gave up, sooner or later, it comes to me.

Is it for making me feel better?

Is it for hurting me more?

Is it for making me give up more when I put my hope on something?

What? Why?

It seems near yet its far beyond my reach.

Its just too heavy

Its been years since I've been absent from love.

I used to be girl who dump people but last time, I was dump by a guy.

Thinking back again, I felt so stupid to I fall for that guy.

Sometimes, I've ever wondered how could people who didn't even met before,
fall in love and being serious in relationship.

I know its the heart but how could people blindly believe in the people that doesn't even exist before their eyes.

Maybe its true what they said that Love is Blind. It makes people blind.

Love is just heavy for me to take. A serious relationship could smothering me to death.

Is this what they mean?

Storm in my head, my heart.

I promised myself that I wont ever sleep in the evening again.

I've been wondering since when I've been an absent minded person and become somewhat crazier lately.

It's started to get into me when I accidentally deleted my pictures folder.

Just perfectly in the middle of organizing my HD and eventually it became messier than I've thought.

I become more undependable person who can't get hold of herself. What a messy. 

I want calmness.

I love sidewalk at night, where they have a bench under the light.

Right now, I just want to be calm. After all of the hectic times and a war with exams.

Sat there alone, thinking of nothing.

For once, I want to enjoy the calmness of being alone.

Alone or Lonely?

I don't know whether I like or hate this kinda feeling. Sometimes I hate it sometimes I do love it.

But whenever I feel lonely, I always think that I'm not alone. God, friends and family are always there for me.

Actually, I just wanna be alone but I'm afraid of it. As long as there are friends, I'm alive.

Autumn meets Winter

It is called "AUTUMN meets WINTER".

Just feel like this should be started.

 I'm somewhat freak towards everything, especially my obsessions

Got the idea from the 4 seasons and a friend..

Autumn is lovely. This kind of hurtful feeling it have.. some women love it.

Though I never experienced autumn, hope someday I will..

 They said Nov 18, 2009 is when autumn meets winter.