I think i finally got my closure.

I have no idea why i stalked his past.
Its just that something doesnt feels right about this. I know, curiosity kills the cat. Well yeah indeed i died multiple times inside finding out things i dont want to.
/sighs

Yes, I'm insecure. But lying to me or hiding things from me is not helping.
The exact words I told him.
Plus, he is nice to everyone so he's easily misunderstood.

I told him i want no secrets no hiding things from me. But I dont know. Its hard to trust but without trust, its hard to stay in relationship.

I dont mind you hang out with your twitter friends that you rarely meet. But instead of jaga hati those yg you seldomly meet or talk, please jaga hati ini lebih sikit. YOU ARE MARRYING ME, NOT THEM!! 

Babe, I'm your present and your future. Please focus on me. 

Ughh.. nauseated.

Why? Because I saw couple of photos of you and your ex. Yeah I know you already broke up 6 years ago. I'M NOT JEALOUS OR ANYTHING.

But.

The thought of you treating me the same way to treat her. Thats what makes me want to vomit. And thats it.

I'm NOT letting you treating me that way anymore. I wont let you level down me to your standard. Treat me like diamond. I dont want to be a cheap jeweleries.

Damn it.

This cannot be a mistake.

I'm heartbroken. 

I'm sad. 

Which i shouldnt be feeling that way.

I know about his past relationships. He told me during our early relationship. He was being open to me. I listen all of it. Then I put off the thought.

But sometimes, me being insecure. I want to know more, unnecessarily. Then I found out and it bring me further down. I know I shouldnt be. 

He's mine now. He's the first though. I hope for ever and ever. I know I cant be his first but I want to be his last. 

This cannot be a mistake.